Your best dad jokes...

Im gonna use that one.

 

I just found out the best time to heat fish in the microwave...

...tuna half minutes!

 

Nope...the best time to heat fish in the microwave is right after you quit your job, and right before you walk out of the break room for the last time...and I'd leave it in there for a lot longer than tuna half minutes...make sure that smell gets baked in there good!

 

I thought that was what shrimp was for...

 

Where does an SUV go on a hot Summer day?

in the car pool!

BO

 

Feel someone's shirt sleeve.
Ask if felt.
'no.'
It is now.

 

I was asked to join a secret society.


I can't tell you how excited I am.

*****
My wife told me I am of average intelligence.


That's just mean.

 

https://youtube.com/shorts/B43cR9Eo5eo?si=KTJeoNmKhd3jPJUd

 

Lance is an uncommon name nowadays.


But in medieval times, people were called Lance a lot.

 

Why did the polar bear call tech support?




His screen was frozen

 

Can you give a deaf person sound advice?

BO

 

What do you call a group of anxious dinosaurs?


Nervous wrecks.






What is the worst insult you can give a ghost?



Get a life

 

What does a wood stove take to reduce swelling?

anti-inFLAMEatory drugs.

BO

 

Do trees poop?



Where do you think number two pencils come from...

 

Booo! Now where did I put that "Bad Dad Jokes file"?

 

It was a groaner and an eye roller Ill admit it.

 

Toasters.
Featuring the first pop up notifications.