Your best dad jokes...

Not everyone will get that one...

 

Being of sound mind and limited hearing skills I understand perfectly

 

I just built an ATM that only gives out coins. I don’t know why no one’s thought of it before: it just makes cents!

 

Very disappointed in my universal remote control.


It doesn't control the universe.
Not even remotely.

 

What do you call a factory that makes okay products?





A satisfactory.

 

What’s the #1 cause of dry skin?






Towels.

 

What do you call a teacher who doesn’t fart in public?



A private tooter.

 

I bought some alligator meat at the market last weekend. I brought it home and realized I couldn’t cook it. All I had was a Croc Pot.

 

Where do pirates go to get their hooks ?



The second hand store.

 

Grandmother horses sweat, men perspire and women merely glow.. fond memories

 

Both my Grandfather and Father, who were both Gentlemen, repeated this many times!

 

Yeah, right!

And we all know............

 

If they did it would smell like roses. Duh!!!

 

My wife is such a good navigator, a self-driving car once asked her for directions.