Your best dad jokes...

Albert Einstein was a genius.

But his brother Frank was a monster.

 

Oh come on...you know you raffed a little...

 

What do you call a cow with a twitch?





Beef jerky

 

My boss asked me why I only get sick on workdays.


I don't know. Must be my weekend immune system.

 

What do you call an alligator in a vest?




An investigator...

 

My buddy took his family to the zoo, all they had was a dog. It was a chitzu (that's not how I spelled it...the forum changed it!)

 

What concert can you go to for .45¢?



A Fifty Cent concert featuring Nickelback

 

There was a butcher at the Academy awards. Turns out he won an Oscar...an Oscar Mayer!!!

 

That dude is such a weiny

 

Sunday was a sad day, but the day before that was a sadder day!

 

I've been collecting magazines for years.

I have issues.

 

I was traveling for work last week.


If you tell knock knock jokes,
you should get the no-bell prize.

 

What is a vegetable you might find in your basement ?


A celery.

 

I started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.



It's all about raisin' awareness.

 

I have a step ladder




My real ladder left when I was a kid.

 

Insurance companies warn campers.

If your tent is stolen at night, you won’t be covered.

 

If lightning hits an orchestra, who’s more likely to get hit?



The conductor


My daughter cringed, so it counts as a dad joke