In loving memory of Kenis D. Keathley 6/4/81 - 3/27/22 Loving father, husband, brother, friend and firewood hoarder Rest in peace, Dexterday

Your best dad jokes...

Discussion in 'Everything Else (off topic)' started by brenndatomu, Nov 18, 2023.

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  1. Hammerhead20

    Hammerhead20

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    406814840_1105710667531748_3618165386592351762_n.jpg
     
    Hammerhead20, Dec 3, 2023
    #101 Top
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  2. Hammerhead20

    Hammerhead20

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    407350530_10224946720044570_6644729263204049630_n.jpg
     
    Hammerhead20, Dec 5, 2023
    #102 Top
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  3. BC Doug Fir

    BC Doug Fir

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    True story. My son who was about 10 at the time and I were helping a good friend cut and wrap a moose. When we got finished we went in for coffee and snacks. He said “ here try the pepperoni I got made “. I don’t like much hot spicy food. I asked him if it would give me a sore azz. Before he could reply my kid said “you’re supposed to put it in your mouth dad”. Gotta love them moments.
     
    BC Doug Fir, Dec 6, 2023
    #103 Top
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  4. wood and coal burner

    wood and coal burner

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    A woman with no arms or legs on the ceiling?

    Crystal

    A man with no arms or legs in the water

    Bob

    A man with no arms or legs on the wall

    Art

    A man with no arms or legs in a test tube

    Gene

    A man with no arms on legs on stage

    Mike

    This is pathetic
     
    wood and coal burner, Dec 6, 2023
    #104 Top
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  5. Erik B

    Erik B

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    What can go up the chimney down,
    Down the chimney down,
    But can't go up the chimney up
    Or down the chimney up?


    An umbrella
     
    Erik B, Dec 6, 2023
    #105 Top
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  6. wildwest

    wildwest Moderator

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    Say this 3 times fast

    Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers
     
    wildwest, Dec 6, 2023
    #106 Top
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  7. Hammerhead20

    Hammerhead20

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    Hammerhead20, Dec 7, 2023
    #107 Top
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  8. Canadian border VT

    Canadian border VT

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    Why did golfer have 2 pairs of pants?

    Yes he had a hole in one…
     
    Canadian border VT, Dec 7, 2023
    #108 Top
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  9. Hammerhead20

    Hammerhead20

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    Hammerhead20, Dec 9, 2023
    #109 Top
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  10. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    What can run but never gets anywhere?

    your nose! BO
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Dec 9, 2023
    #110 Top
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  11. Erik B

    Erik B

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    Sometimes people are built upside down...their feet smell and their nose runs.
     
    Erik B, Dec 9, 2023
    #111 Top
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  12. wildwest

    wildwest Moderator

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    Say this 3 times fast

    Chicken Biscuit Triscuit
     
    wildwest, Dec 9, 2023
    #112 Top
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  13. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    I adopted a homeless horse. I wanted it to be in a stable environment!
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Dec 9, 2023
    #113 Top
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  14. Hammerhead20

    Hammerhead20

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    Hammerhead20, Dec 14, 2023
    #114 Top
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  15. JiminyKicket

    JiminyKicket

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    My dog swallowed a bunch of Scrabble letters. I took him to the vet, but no word yet.
     
    JiminyKicket, Dec 14, 2023
    #115 Top
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  16. buZZsaw BRAD

    buZZsaw BRAD

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    :rofl: :lol: :thumbs:
     
    buZZsaw BRAD, Dec 14, 2023
    #116 Top
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  17. brenndatomu

    brenndatomu

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    Been slackin here I guess... :emb:

    -What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.

    -I used to run a dating service for chickens. But I was struggling to make hens meet.

    -If prisoners could take their own mug shots…They’d be called cellfies.
     
    brenndatomu, Dec 14, 2023
    #117 Top
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  18. Warner

    Warner

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    Why is Santa so good at martial arts?

    cuz he has a black belt.

    which is Santa’s cleanest raindeer?

    comet.
     
    Warner, Dec 14, 2023
    #118 Top
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  19. metalcuttr

    metalcuttr

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    Did you hear of the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac who would lay awake all night pondering whether there really was a dog?

    Or the man who was so distraught over having dyslexia that he threw himself behind a bus?
     
    metalcuttr, Dec 14, 2023
    #119 Top
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  20. Canadian border VT

    Canadian border VT

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    Comet will make your teeth turn green
    Comet Tastes like gasoline
    Comet Will make you vomit

    so eat comet and vomit today
     
    Canadian border VT, Dec 14, 2023
    #120 Top
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