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Ridiculous forecast here.

Discussion in 'Everything Else (off topic)' started by Backwoods Savage, Sep 8, 2014.

  1. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Moderator

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    This has to be one of the most ridiculous forecasts of all time. I've bold and changed to red some of the highlights of this joker's comments.

    Let's look at one particular thing for example. Let's say that Detroit, MI normally gets around 30" of snow per winter. According to this article, they could get anywhere from 150" to 1500" of snow this winter. Right..... I can only imagine those areas that normally get 150-200" or more. What might they expect? Right....

    And another thing. Why is it that the price of milk and eggs would go up except right when a big snow hits? After all, I highly doubt people would drink more milk or cook more eggs just because there is extra snow on the ground.

    Extreme? You read and see what you think.


    SILVER SPRING, Maryland -


    Chances are you will hear a lot about El Niño in the next month or two. Meteorologists and weather science experts at the National Weather Service (NWS) say that there is a 99% chance that the we will start to see a massive cold-front sooner in the year than has ever happened, which will produce not just record-breaking snowfall, but according to Dr. Boris Scvediok, a doctor of global weather sciences, record shattering snow storms across the board, affecting the entire United States.

    “For the sake of comparison to the past winter, lets say that your area received a total of twenty inches of accumulative snow for the season. Because this year the snowfall is predicted to start by the end of September or the beginning of October, you can expect to multiply that number by up to five, ten, maybe even twenty times in some areas. In the worst zones, you could see 50 times the amount of snow you’ve had in the past. This is the type of winter the American public needs to prepare for. Several meteorologists are saying not to buy into what the models are showing. I can tell you from forty years of scientific weather research, they are doing you a disservice,” Dr. Scvediok told the Associated Press on Friday. “The Northeast, Ohio Valley, and Midwestern states will definitely get hit the hardest.”

    Midwestern states will definitely get hit the hardest.”

    Edward F. Blankenbaker, Senior Administrator of Meteorologists, also told the media that this will be a once-in-a-lifetime kind of snowy winter.

    “Pretty much everyone will see snow like they never have in their lives. Most younger people don’t even know what an actual blizzard looks like, but by the end of March, they will be seasoned survivalists,” Blankenbaker said. “Everyone needs to make sure they have their weather emergency kits prepared and ready to go. There will undoubtably be mass power outages, which along with freezing temperatures and enough snowfall to immobilize entire cities, will most likely, and unfortunately, be a very dangerous recipe. Safety always comes first and the time to prepare is right now.”

    Along with the mention of severe winter weather, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) predicts supply and demand could cause shortages, causing the prices of bread and milk to increase substantially. FDA spokesperson Rebecca Miller suggests alternatives in preparation of the coming months.

    “We are encouraging that you go out and purchase bulk amounts of dry, powdered milk which can be stored in your cupboards. This will prevent frantic trips to grocery stores and super markets as the onslaught of storms begin to fall upon your respected region.” Miller said. “As far as bread, we suggest you buy as much as you can efficiently store in your freezer. Bread can be frozen and thawed without compromising the integrity of its quality. Preparations such as these are crucial and the fact that technology has brought us to a time and place in which such events can be predicted is quite remarkable. So stock up on your powdered milk and fill your freezer with loaves of bread, because once the blankets of snow begin to fall, brave souls will confront the elements to raid stores of these products like some sort of scavenger hunt. Don’t be a part of the Snowpocolypse, it’s a dangerous battlefield of crazed-shopping, winter-bitten weather zombies.”

    Stock up! Prices could more than triple in some locations

    Public safety organizations also encourage the masses to prepare themselves by obtaining proper necessities. James Satterfield from the National Fire and Safety Advisory Board says preparation can save lives. “Don’t wait until temperatures plummet into a freeze; obtain cold weather clothing and footwear, including wool thermal socks. It is also crucial to have plenty of batteries, candles, weather radios, you name it. Get prepared, it’s coming.” Satterfield stated. “First and foremost, make sure you have an effective plan in place to make sure you have plenty of bread and milk.”

    Dr. Scvediok says to be prepared for a storm that could come as early as the end of September, and plan for the entire winter season, which this year, he says, will more than likely spread into next June.
     
  2. Gary_602z

    Gary_602z

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    That is from a satire site like the Onion. Read the scrolling headlines at towards the top of the page.

    Gary
     
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  3. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Moderator

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    Ah ha! That explains it. Someone sent it to me. Pure bull for sure.
     
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  4. Gary_602z

    Gary_602z

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    I believed it for a minute when I first read it this morning!:)

    Gary
     
  5. 343amc

    343amc

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    Either way, I'm still getting new tires on the truck before snow flies. :)
     
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  6. papadave

    papadave

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    I thought maybe he had an unhealthy obsession with bread and milk.........and snow.
    I think I'll stock up somewhat on distilled water for the likely power outage that will hit us. I can make bread....no need to hit the store. If you're getting that much snow, what's the chance you'll be able to get to a store?
     
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  7. Gary_602z

    Gary_602z

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    I am getting a couple hundred pounds of powdered milk!:rofl: :lol:

    Gary
     
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  8. BrianK

    BrianK

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    I'm stocking up on powdered spring water.
     
  9. papadave

    papadave

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    Just add saliva?
     
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  10. Stinny

    Stinny

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    I'm stockin' up on firewood.... :tree:... :fire: and, I know others that do the same... :cool:
     
  11. Well Seasoned

    Well Seasoned Administrator

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    Im buying a ton of pellets........SALT PELLETS.......:)
     
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  12. Locust Post

    Locust Post

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    ain't skeered
     
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  13. yooperdave

    yooperdave

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    You mean to tell me that I'm going to get up to 50 times the amount of snow here in the U.P.?
     
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  14. nate

    nate Banned

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    1500" is 125ft. To put that into perspective, Valdez gets the most snow in the US and it averages about 27ft a winter. (and before you say otherwise, that is based of averages for cities, I'm sure there are areas that get more, just aren't cities)
     
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  15. savemoney

    savemoney

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    Brian, I think you are on to something, a real money maker. You'll need to advertise it in the big cities. Should be easy to ship! :cool:
     
  16. Beetle-Kill

    Beetle-Kill

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    BrianK, dude, I haven't had that good of a laugh in a week!! Priceless! :rofl: :lol::thumbs:
     
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  17. SmokeyTheBear

    SmokeyTheBear

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    Funny you should mention that can I use it to brew powdered beer?

    BTW: El Niño is supposed to cause the heap big warmy hots so if it snows a lot it will melt before it hits the ground.
     
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  18. savemoney

    savemoney

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    Better get going on that one befor Keurig comes out with it in a k cup!
     
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  19. Firebroad

    Firebroad

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    :rofl: :lol:

    He didn't mention toilet paper!
    Around Maryland, people clean off the shelves of bread, milk and toilet paper if the news even remotely mentions a chance of snow. Stores have been cleaned out when a few flurries fly.
    I could not care less about snow, it's the ice that worries me. Last year a single ice storm took out my neighbors pine tree branches, that ripped the power lines out of my house. Cost me a small fortune that the insurance wouldn't cover.
     
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  20. Gary_602z

    Gary_602z

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    That is the reason when we built our house I had the electric put in underground.

    Gary
     
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