Yet Another Funny Picture Thread (3rd attempt)

Yes, the sign below is real and not a joke.

 

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the Nun called on her while she was sleeping. "Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"

When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret.

The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class. A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and Savior?"

But Mary didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt. "Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said, "Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question..."What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"
Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

The Nun could finish teaching the class, she had fainted !

 

Not so much funny, but Good things here!
The Israelis do not make islands in the shape of palm trees, towering skyscrapers, expensive hotels, nor do their leaders use cars with massive silver bodies (allusion to Dubai and the United Arab Emirates).
The pride of Israel is that its technologies will be able to be used by all humanity:


1. Tel Aviv University is developing a nasal vaccine that will protect people from Alzheimer's and stroke.

2. The Technion, Institute of Technology (Haifa), has developed a simple blood test capable of detecting different types of cancer.

3. The Ichlov Center (Tel Aviv) isolated a protein that makes colonoscopy unnecessary to detect colon cancer, with a simple blood test. Colon cancer kills about 500,000 people annually.

4. Acne doesn't kill, but does cause anxiety in teens. The Curlight Laboratory has created a cure. Emitting UV rays at high intensity, kills the bacteria that cause acne.

5. The Given Imaging Laboratory has developed a tiny camera in the form of swallowed pills and transmits thousands of photos of the digestive tract. These high-quality photos (2 per second for 8 hours) can detect polyps, cancers, and sources of bleeding. The photos are sent to a chip that stores them and sends them to a computer. At the end of the process, the chamber is eliminated via the rectum.

6. The Hebrew University (Jerusalem) developed an electrical neurostimulator (batteries) that is implanted in the chest of Parkinson's patients, similar to the pacemaker. The emissions from this device block the nerve signals that cause tremors.

7. The simple smell of a patient's breath can detect if a patient has lung cancer. The Russell Berrie Institute for Nanotechnology has created sensors capable of sensing and registering 42 biological markers that indicate the presence of lung cancer without the need for a biopsy.

8. Catheterization can be dispensed with in many cases. Endopat is a device placed between the indicator fingers, which can measure the state of the arteries and predict the possibility of a heart attack in the next 7 years.

9. The University of Bar Ilan studies a new drug that fights viruses through the bloodstream. It is called Vecoy Trap, as it tricks a virus into self-destruction. Very useful to combat hepatitis, and in the future Aids and Ebola.

10. Israeli scientists at Hadassah Medical Center (Jerusalem) may have discovered the first cure for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, known as Lou Gehring's disease, in an Orthodox rabbi. Stephen Hawking, a famous British scientist, suffered from this disease and used methods invented by Israeli scientists to communicate.

The world shouldn't live on bad news alone .... so spread these good news!