A bit of humor!

St. Patrick's Day is coming soon.


John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep"





Mickey O'Flynn worked in an Irish pickle factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.

After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Mickey to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace
of mind.

The next day he came home from work very early. His wife, Mary, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.

Mickey tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.

Mary gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis. She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the pickle slicer?"

Mickey replied, "I'm not certain, but I think she got fired, too."

 

Ed and his wife Norma go to the state fair every year, And every year Ed would say,

" Norma, I'd like to ride in that helicopter "

Norma always replied, "I know Ed, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, And fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"

One year Ed and Norma went to the fair, and Ed said, " Norma, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance "

To this, Norma replied, " Ed, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks "

The pilot overheard the couple and said, " Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars. "

Ed and Norma agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word...

When they landed, the pilot turned to Ed and said, " By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed! "

Ed replied, " Well, to tell you the truth I almost said something when Norma fell out,
But you know...


Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"