Be careful what you say around a non Hoarder or non Sawyer

I was out at the sawmill yesterday cutting some crotches. My neighbor was there with one of his friends drinking beer. OK, I had a couple too.

So I pull a nice looking slab with interesting crotch grain off the mill and wiped some of the saw dust off of it to get a better look. My neighbor bends over and brushes the slab a few times and looks up at me and says, "Awesome crotch wood dude." His buddy snorted and spewed beer all over and says, "you guys are sick and need to be more careful what you say."

We all had a good laugh but I will be more careful how I talk outside of this forum... LOL
I thought I wood speak up because this forum has the most "nice wood" comments I have ever seen...

Any other funny stories out there?

 

Oakman69 inspired this from his comment over in another thread:

Very nice wood... he said totally innocently...

 

I asked a friend once if he ever checked his wood for moisture.

 

I'm always asking people if they want to join me as I admire my wood. Always gets a chuckle. .....out of me.

 

People usually ask me if I like a hard wood or soft wood

 

Great thread!

Here's mine.

Wife gave me a fiskars hookaroon for Christmas a couple years back. Next day at work before a production meeting, one of the guys was talking about a gift he got. They asked if I got anything.

I told them " my wife got me a hookaroon".
That was met with an instant response. " Your wife got you a hooker room???".

Lol

 

And whether they're lying flat or standing erect...

 

I joke with my wife that if I ever had a business in the industry, I would name it “Morning Wood”. I mean with the competition being so stiff, you gotta have a catchy name, right?

 

I think that's a great name. Catchy and will make people talk about the business.
On my way home from work I used to always see two black Lab's in a yard and they seemed quiet and obedient, never near the road. A couple of years later a sign goes up for his business: Black Dog Welding.

 

Never have to think to yourself, “ now what was the name of that welding shop”? “What’s the name of that tree service?”

 

Let’s go outside and work on wood

 

I'm sure the talk moves around to discussing the size of the cylinders!

 

In a diner I casually said "I stuck my hand up er crotch she's rotten" and a woman behind me flipped out on me.

 

I casually refer to trees as girls.. IDK Why..
so where we going to lay that girl down??

 

To nice of a day to waste it on here.
"Going out back to play with my wood."