Yesterday, I wore my Vietnam Veteran cap tc Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at theworld's largest retailer; but,since I retired, trips to "Wally World" to look at the Walmartians is alwaysgood for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, I digress, . . . enough of my psychological fixations. While standing in line tocheck out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked,"Are you a Viet Nam Vet?" "No," I replied. "Then why are you wearing that cap?" "Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812 . . ." I thought it was a snappy retort. "The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?" God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1946," I answered as straight-faced as possible. He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1946?" "It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way fun! "Dude! Really?" He exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?" I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on themission." "Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?" "Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage." The moron nodded knowingly. "Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and Ishouldn't have said anything." "Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?" With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?" The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. The lady behind me started laughing so hard I thought she was about to have a heart attack. I just grinned at her. After checking out and going to the parking lot, I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me hestarted pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly'serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumpedin the car and sped out of the parking lot. And these people VOTE! What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back wearing my Homeland Security cap. Then the next day I will go to the driver's license bureau wearing my Border Patrol hat, and see how long ittakes to empty the place. Whoever said retirement is boring? You just need to wear the right kind of cap! See you guys at Walmart!!
Seemed funny enough to me. But didn't know any Canadains fled to the states to go to Nam. Alway thiugh it was the other way around... I guees every country lets some real genius's get away. Al
I need to VENT!Because I'M MAAAAD! I just went to Giant to pick up a few things. I'm waiting in the self-checkout line and I dropped a $20 bill (yep that's me trying to hold everything, because I didn't want a cart). The lady in front of me picked it up. I thanked her and held my hand out, and she said, "The things found on earth are kept by the collector," and walks away. I was like oh hell NO!! I looked at the person behind me standing in line, they couldn't believe it either.... this can't be real life right now, right?! So I took a deep breath and I turned back towards the lady/thief/or whatever you wanna call her and as I approached her I said, "Do I look like I'm in the mood?! Let's not play games. Go ahead and give me back my money." She had the nerve to ignore me completely and TRIED to walk away from me... SOOOOO, of course I left everything and followed her into the parking lot. She was almost running at this point to get away from me, which was the first sign of real intelligence this lady had shown. When she got to her car she put her bags on the ground trying to quickly get her trunk open. I was boiling at this point! I decided that her “finders keepers" rule just presented the perfect opportunity for a great teachable moment... SO... I went into track star mode and ran full speed, and grabbed her grocery bags, and headed to my car yelling, "The things found on earth are kept by the collector!" I hopped in my truck ignoring her every attempt to get my attention. I was outta line I'll admit, but she was too. I was HOT, but I had a sense of satisfaction at the same time. Lemme say this, anyone who knows me knows that as an adult I've never stolen anything so this is completely out of character for me. But anyway I get home and open the bags and what did I find? 3 packs of rib eye steaks 3 pounds of wild caught salmon 2 pounds of potatoes Everything to make a bomb salad And... A bottle of Wine I cant help but think to myself... WOW! Not bad for $20 dollars! In all seriousness.... this is just a joke to see who would read the entire post. Hopefully I just put a smile on your face!
Like this hottie? Look out corn doggies. And how could you pass this up on a cold winters night. Nuff wrinkles to keep the whole house warm. Al
Sure wasn't ment to get your shorts in a knot. Seemed funny enough to me. But didn't know any Canadains fled to the states to go to Nam. Some thing that crossed my mind and really do not know. Alway though it was the other way around... Americans running to Canada to avoid the draft/war I guees every country lets some real genius's get away. This was ment that every country allows some people to graduate from school no mater what their IQ. You OK now? Thought I would share and explain the post I made. Al
I’m sorry that happened to you mostly because it sks to think there are people like that, but that’s a great story!
When my daughter was young we would play “let’s guess, is that a man or a women?” When we went to Walmart
These days you don't have to go anywhere near Walmart. Just look at the cereal box in your cupboard .........
