Yesterday I finally had a chance to go to my sophomore daughter's 9th/10th grade high school volleyball tournament. She's really taken to volleyball and loves the sport. They played 6 sets(games) throughout the day, and the team did ok. Sitting in the stands, I started to seethe as I watched the girls play. What was boiling my blood was the setter not setting my daughter. In fact throughout the day, I watched the setter set her two close friends that often botched the set resulting in a side out. When the setter did set my daughter, it was crappy at best. Now before you start telling me that there may not be nothing to this, I need to explain about cliques. In all the coaching I've done of female sports from basketball to softball, these girls form their cliques. They do this most often outside of sports. However; I'm seeing it much more frequently in the teen girls on the playing fields/courts. The two players that the setter is setting are marginal players. One of them hit 8 straight sets into the net. They ended up losing that set. The player on the opposite side is almost on par with the other girl. My daughter is not perfect by any means, and I get that. They all need to work together in order to perform at a higher level. The problem with this current mixture is that she'll never get better without the setter actually setting her. After the tournament was over, my daughter got in the car and started to vent. I know every parent feels their child's pain when things like this happen. For me, and I am sure more people that I realize, I was one that was not part of the cliques in sports. Being on the outside was extremely frustrating as a player. As an adult, it's far more frustrating. Just one clarification here. My wife spoke with her close friend who has a daughter on the team, and she sees the same thing we see. She has voiced to us her disappointment with these three players as well. My council to my daughter is to talk with the setter. It's possible that she does not realize she's not setting my daughter. Though deep down I don't believe this. I told her that if that does not work, she needs to appeal to the rest of the starters to address it. In no way can I go to the coach nor should she. That will only make matters worse. Fortunately she'll not see these three girls when she gets back into tournament volleyball in November. Sorry for the rant. I needed to get it off my chest, and FB is not place for this rant. Plus I've talked about sports here in the past and received good council. Jason from RI.
It's tough to see your kids go through stuff like this but at the same time it is a good life lesson.
For her maybe. Me no. If I talk to him, it will come across that I am interfering. I need to take a back seat on this one. It's up to her. She needs to talk to the setter. Hopefully that will clear the air.
boettg33 If your daughter talks to the coach from the perspective of what may help the team, she should get the coach on her side. She has to keep the complaining about other players out of the conversation. Hope she can work it out. HS is hard enough with out all of the extra drama.
If the coach is anything like one coach I had, she is better off to forget the whole matter. Guy was a complete jerk that never got over the H.S. clique mentality even after he was signed on as a teacher. I have to give him credit though, decades later, he isn't a jerk any longer....he is now a retired lonely jerk with completely dysfunctional adult children.
It is called Welcome to life in the real world. I see it at the grandsons football/baseball games, 10 minutes you know who is the coaches son, friends and family.
Unfortunately the work 'team' means nothing any more. I, me and my are now what everyone thinks of first...especially kids, because thats what they learned from their parents. Keep reinforcing to your daughter that she is doing good and let her work it out. I know that doesn't help you, but...
