In loving memory of Kenis D. Keathley 6/4/81 - 3/27/22 Loving father, husband, brother, friend and firewood hoarder Rest in peace, Dexterday

I wonder why my father will not share about Viet Nam?

Discussion in 'As You Were' started by wildwest, Aug 4, 2015.

  1. savemoney

    savemoney

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    I attend a Vietnam veteran combat support group weekly. We have a veterans outreach program specific for combat veterans. Going there every week for group discussions has been very helpful to me. I wear my veteran hat and I have a veteran's tag on my car. I get a lot of thank yous for your sevice. It helps me feel better about myself and lessens my guilt for being one who got to return home.
     
    Last edited: Feb 29, 2016
  2. yooperdave

    yooperdave

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    tractorman44 I used to read the papers with disgust on how the nation treated active and returning vets back during those years.

    It was not "fashionable" to express thanks to vets during that time; that has all changed now, for whatever reason. I too remember the cold shoulder but I always considered the source when I received it. Typically from users, ones that have never given anything to the nation, ones that have no understanding of sacrifice, honor, pride, etc.
    Just as it is fashionable now-a-days to publicly prosecute any given number of causes on social media.

    I also have fond memories of Kaneohe as I used to go night snorkeling there! Beautiful base.

    By all means wear your hat and get the respect you so dearly deserve.
     
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  3. WeldrDave

    WeldrDave Military Outpost Moderator

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    Larry, I think I can say were all thankful for you and everyone else that made it back! My Brother who did three tours felt the same way with guilt and was a train wreck most of the time. It took him years to even be comfortable around people but he would "NEVER" speak of it. I'm glad you realized that people do respect and cared about you! I'm not going political here but the left had a lot of folks brainwashed! "AS NORMAL"!
     
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  4. savemoney

    savemoney

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    I have great respect for most all people. Everyone can serve their community and country in many ways. I loose my cool with those who take advantage of others when they are innocent victims, Left, Right or whatever.
    My current issue is the mistreated the law enforcement community. Yes, we all know of those who took advantage of their positions, but that is true of any group. I can't think of any other groups besides our service members and law enforcement members who are so exposed to hostility and ignorance. If bullets don't get them, the stress just might. "thank your for your service" has become popular now for service members. I would like to see that also become popular for our law enforcement members.
     
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  5. intheBigWoods

    intheBigWoods

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    My Dad was in WWII, despite lots of requests, he never would talk about details very much. He was on a ship, the Leopoldville, that was torpedoed by a German sub in the English channel on Christmas eve 1944, he was headed to the Battle of the Bulge. Over 1400 American soldiers were killed that night, he was among about 600 that survived. He spent early 1945 mopping up Germans that got caught behind the lines. In August 1945 he was actually getting on a transport ship in France to go to the South Pacific when news came of the atomic bombs and the Japanese surrender, they stopped the boarding and he guarded German prisoners until they were released to go home to Germany. He never would even consider buying a German or Japanese car his entire life. After he died at 87, I found some German "loot" that he brought back he never told me about. A German pistol, a Nazi dagger, and armband. After the war, every soldier was allowed to keep and bring home one pistol. My how times have changed. I wish I knew more about such a profound time in his life. He taught me much about patriotism, always flew the flag when he could and always stood up for the national anthem , even when watching sports on TV at home. I honor him and our country by doing the same.

    Sorry if I went off topic, but this thread got me thinking about the greatest generation.
     
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  6. WeldrDave

    WeldrDave Military Outpost Moderator

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    You are so right!!! They did everything including "saving the world"!:salute::cool: Oh, and welcome to the Family intheBigWoods! The best place on the web is right here!:cool::)
     
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  7. Bert

    Bert

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    My brother walked point on 6 man Ranger teams in Vietnam with 2 tours of duty. He never really talked to me much other than the good times. But just before he passed away he told me just a few things of what it was really like. RIP my brother.
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2016
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  8. mike holton

    mike holton

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    THIS! ^^^^^^^^ what he said! when you enter the Armed Service regardless of branch,you have committed to the possibility of being in combat. just because you didn't "go to war" doesn't make you ANY LESS A MARINE ! NEVER hide that. no such thing as a "former Marine" hell, I was Army and even I know that. lol
     
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  9. Sourwood

    Sourwood

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    The man who lives across the road from me for over twenty years, only recently mentioned he is a Korean War veteran.
    Talking about visiting the VA. I asked where he was stationed, and he then told me.

    One uncle first military experience was Normandy when he was 17. Another was an LST operator at 17. Was at Tarawa.
    They would talk about general things; equipment and geography. Nothing specific.

    When I was a kid, the old man next door was a cavalry soldier out west, and then served in WW one. Wounded there, would rais a pant leg and show us his bullet wound. To be able to talk with him again would be a treat.
     
  10. Sourwood

    Sourwood

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    Forgot to mention thay I offered to sponsor my neighbor on an Honor Flight. I did that a few years ago-experience that can't be beat. He politely declined.Didnt want the attention drawn to him.
     
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  11. VOLKEVIN

    VOLKEVIN

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    That would be awesome. Or in a larger sense bestow a civilian form of veteran's status on those who have worn a badge. Rates of PTSD, health problems and injury are high in the law enforcement community; but state and local government treat your "post-service" as though you're just an ex-employee. I gladly served my community and country as a police officer, never once felt down about late midnights, missed Christmases, Easters, birthdays, etc. I actually wear it with pride, knowing that it's a career that not all can do or are willing to do. I made it a point to drive into the Veteran's Cemetery at midnight every Christmas morning, the only living soul in the place, parking and just walking for a bit, saying Merry Christmas, thank you and you aren't forgotten...standing watch, ready for what problem or carnage the radio call might bring when it breaks the silence- it's a feeling that I can't really describe.

    Members of the public never thanked me for being a cop, and I never expected them to. More often, since I was the catalyst for someone going to jail or being the cause of someone's pain or inconvenience, I was yelled at/spit on and generally told that I was an azzhole. It was part of the job, and I understood why they were not happy; but I did my job with a happy heart knowing that I was doing the dirty work that most of society can't do or wouldn't want to do. I knew that I had to watch my back at all times, for if the bad guys weren't after me, it was the media and cop hating members of the public, just waiting for me to screw up the tiniest bit so they could get me fired, paint the department in a bad light, try to sue me or the city, or a combination of the three. The funny thing is that when the proverbial Sh*t hits the fan, they all couldn't dial 911 fast enough to have us come and help.

    wildwest, I would advise to not push for stories. To you it's interesting and appreciated, but to those who have lived through some bad situations it drums up a lot of bad memories. I have seen and done stuff that would make you lose sleep for a long time- I assure you that to this day I have vivid, crystal clear pictures in my head of some really tragic, gnarly sh*t and I wouldn't share those memories with anyone for any price. They're just tucked away in a dark place in my head that I don't go to very often. Instead I choose to share things with people that ask about some good outcomes and some of the funnier stories about me falling on my azz while chasing bad guys.
     
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  12. wildwest

    wildwest Moderator

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    Well crap :(, since his funeral I heard from a relative. Relative was young at the time and supposed to be in bed but instead snuck out and was out sight eavesdropping like kids do. No specifics but a disgusting question of "how many ***** did you kill" made him sick to his stomach. Yes, that side of the family is disgusting period.

    I vividly recall asking him directly as a child, he was holding a stick and using his ever present pocket knife to sharpen a point on it to anchor the fish stringer (we were fishing alone like most times, out of town and not a person in sight at Gross Reservoir). Long pause and many slow hard strips on the stick and said "A couple guys shot at me a couple times, I shot back a couple times" and that was it except one more detail was running out to a spot that I imagined as a telephone pole to "send messages".

    CRAP! No wonder he could not sleep and I could find up at all hours of the night where I would always find him immersing himself in a book. (thousands of pages per week, he was thrilled when Kindle came out a couple years ago). Someone added a photo of him in his reading spot, on the couch in living room by the lamp. He looked wonderful in the pic up on the big screen at his funeral but I feel so bad to know why he could never sleep, or sit at certain places in a restaurant or room, etc. Though I always felt his sadness despite him living a great life and giving me a great life too.

    Breaks my heart but also explains the obvious about him since he was such a loving caring soul to people and all of God's creatures.

    God Bless Our Soldiers:salute:
     
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  13. WeldrDave

    WeldrDave Military Outpost Moderator

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    "Anyone" Wildwest who has seen anything in that realm, eventualy realize's that "all" life is precious. But man has the ability to think, therefore conflict. Look at what's going on in our "own" Country. I want to say this though and I hope this gives you some comfort, "Man" has the ability to think and make decisions both ways. Many of us went to serve the "greater good" , the USA, or families and loved ones. They/we had a job to do, some were "put" there by the draft and had no intention of going through what they did. A person has to a make peace with themself and I'm sure he did! My next to oldest brother, "I'm sure" killed hundreds in Vietnam. I sort of know this just by where he was and what unit he was in, It was fight or die! But, he never, ever spoke of it. and he was a Gentleman to everyone he met. He is now gone also, but don't feel bad about what happened, you can't change that. But feel good about who you are, the life "He" knew he gave you and the legacy left behind! As for the question spoke, most people have "no clue" what war is/was about! Less than 1% of our folks in this Country have seen it's ugly head. Thoughts and memories of war truly never go away and you cannot never "unsee" what you've seen, I'd like to think all was good in your Fathers heart!!! And, he made his peace with himself knowing what he left behind. :)
     
  14. B.Brown

    B.Brown

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    Just caught up to this posting, #1 respect your Dad's space, do not quiz him, it can only bring more hurt to him, and mood changes. People say, '' i can imagine what you went through'', no you cannot, if you were not there, you have no idea, PERIOD. I had been trying to locate a guy i was in vn with for some time. I just got a phone recording from his daughter, he died 2 days ago. In fact it sounded like he died on my birthday the 26th of oct. I really feel bad i didn't try hard enough to locate him. But, i was trying to respect his space, and wasn't sure how he might react. Told my other buddy, if you think about it, trying to locate a buddy, DO IT NOW, do not wait. It really hit home to get that message. by the way, some say ''we lost the war''. Let me tell you this, ''WE'' did not loose any war, i know i put 150% into my job, and i did it very, very well. This is my opinion, and the guys who were with me, feel the same way.
     
  15. savemoney

    savemoney

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    Welcome home, B.Brown , you and I are the same age, and both served in VietNam. I was there 70-71. I was a medic in casualty staging group in DaNang. wildwest started this thread in 2015. Her Dad passed a few weeks ago. She reopened this thread with some continuing thoughts/impressions. Your comments are spot on. I get help every week by attending a combat veteran's group. I also see MD's monthly and quarterly. With a lot of support for how I am doing, family, faith, friends, brother veterans, and a few pills, I function and and try to participate in life. Fighting isolation is so important. In most cases, war stories are absolutely toxic and result in panic attacks and being tripped. I think that supports your position you stated so well.
     
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  16. clay shooter

    clay shooter

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    my dad was in burma fighting many moons ago, and would not talk about it at all.
     
  17. EODMSgt

    EODMSgt

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    Just a different perspective however my (late) stepfather was in Hue and Phu Bai in '66-'67. He never talked about it even after I went in the Corps. It wasn't until I had been in actual combat, been wounded, and lost comrades that he finally opened up. Not trying to overuse the old adage however I think it is true that unless you've been there (no matter what the conflict is), you can't truly understand. Despite my being in the military, he still didn't feel comfortable about opening up until I had been through similar experiences. I guess it's akin to law enforcement (or any first responder job). Both of my ex-wives were cops (I know, WTF was I thinking) and despite the similarities between military and law enforcement, I still wasn't one of them and they weren't military so there were often difficulties in communication. The best advice I can give is don't push, but be willing to listen if a combat vet ever does open up.
    S/F